I never imagined that Jason and I would be household names in Philadelphia or that strangers would know our kids’ names.
It has forced some conversations that I didn’t think we would need to have. When we leave the house now and go into public spaces, I tell our daughters that if they don’t want to say “hi” to people, they don’t have to.
Interestingly, it’s a lesson they learned from my neighbor Tim. He has autism, and when growing up, we were very close. Today, he’s Uncle Tim to my three daughters.
I’ve spoken many times about how my interest in the autism community started very young. Just like how Tim helped teach me about neurodiversity, he’s now teaching his honorary nieces. My girls get to benefit from having Tim in their lives. He’s an outstanding introduction to autism and neurodiverse individuals. And I am very, very lucky that they get to interact with him in their young years the same way I got to interact with him because he really is one of the best people on this earth.
The girls love Tim for Tim, but our oldest has started to notice he’s different from some of her other uncles. Wyatt is 4, and she’s a social butterfly, so she gets frustrated if Tim doesn’t want to interact verbally with her. One time in particular, she was annoyed he wouldn’t say “hi.” And I told her, “Well, Uncle Tim will say ‘hi’ to you when Uncle Tim is ready.”
That’s the space and grace we would give anyone we interact with. We haven’t even really talked about Uncle Tim being different or that he processes the world differently. It’s just common decency: If someone doesn’t want to say “hi” to you right at that moment, they don’t have to.
That lesson has helped me teach the girls about public interactions
Honestly, it’s a very fine line and a blurred line when people approach Jason and me and address the girls by name. And it’s no fault of anyone because all of the interactions are based completely on kindness.
Still, it is something that I make a point to address with our girls. We talk about ‘stranger danger’ because being approached by a stranger who knows your name is something I don’t think anyone can prepare you for.
As the girls get older, we’re going to keep the lines of communication open so they can talk with us about anything that makes them uncomfortable, including public attention.
I don’t worry about people’s opinions on my marriage
Raising three girls has really united Jason and me as a team. Right now, it’s us versus the children, and we’re outnumbered. We’re not in man-to-man coverage anymore.
As public figures, Jason and I know there’s talk about our marriage, but we don’t give much thought to it. We use social media in a way that is authentic to us and I make a conscious effort not to offer us up for the opinions of others. I don’t really mind other people having opinions because I don’t really think twice about it. I also just don’t often give the opportunity for people to supply those opinions.
Keeping the outside sources as quiet as possible is a really great way to just keep it together and be present with each other. We are very secure in our marriage.
I talk with Tim about sharing his story
I’m passionate about the Eagles Autism Foundation, and people often want to know why. I share about Tim and always make sure to check in with him to make sure he’s OK with me talking about our story.
Tim isn’t one for the spotlight, so I’m helping him with an anonymous donation. The donation will give people with tactile needs the chance to interact with art, including the art that Tim makes.
I’m grateful that I know Tim, and I tell him that. And I think that that’s really as simple as it is. I’m grateful that I’ve had the absolute pleasure of having Tim in my life. That has fueled everything else that has transpired.
