Maybe I’m the only person who missed it, but Travis Kelce picking off celebrity golf patrons one-by-one earlier this month completely missed my radar. Apparently nobody at Barstool saw it either, considering there was no blog and we’re under strict instruction to cover the Kelce family’s whereabouts every time they leave their home.
Travis Kelce turned the American Century Championship in Lake Tahoe, which featured the likes of Alex Rodriguez, Josh Allen, Blake Griffin, and Dan Katz, into his own personal shooting gallery. Before he even made a woman bleed from her head, there was was this rotund golf fan who was drilled in the arm with Travis Kelce’s approach shot.
Thankfully that’s a man who’s arms are built to absorb the blow of a Titleist. And for good measure, Travis gave his wound a kiss. Which is actually pretty cool. To be kissed with lips that have touched Taylor Swifts vagina… That guy can basically say he had sex with her.
But the head blood girl… Travis got her real good. Square in the back of the skull. Rag covered in blood. Girl nearly passing out. EMT’s on the scene. Whole thing. Here’s the woman’s quote.
People – “When I got hit, I immediately felt pain,” Hauss, 37, recounted to PEOPLE exclusively. “I was just trying to focus on not blacking out, and at that point I didn’t really know what had happened. I then heard people start yelling and screaming that it was Travis Kelce’s golf shot, and ‘Oh my god, that girl just got hit in the head.’ ”
“I tried to stay really calm and told my husband that I thought I was ok, it just hurt really bad,” she continued. “Then when I put my hand to my head there was a lot of blood. I knelt down to try and get my bearings and then a Good Samaritan — he must have been a doctor or a first responder of some sort — came over and immediately applied pressure to the wound on my head. He told me stay still and that they were calling for the EMTs. I am just so appreciative to that man for helping me, a complete stranger, and I wish I could thank him for his kindness.”
I know this is said every time a golf event is held, but it’s shocking this doesn’t happen more often. Especially at celebrity golf tournaments. You’d think a celebrity golf tournament would be a war zone. I’d think more balls would end up in the crowd than on the fairway. It should be golf balls raining down like hail. Patrons fleeing for their lives in every direction. Paramedics everywhere. Blood splattered on the cart paths. They’re calling in ambulances from the town over because they don’t have enough stretchers to take care of the causalities. And honestly, based on the video, it kinda looks like that was the vibe of the American Century Championships (my apologies I can’t find the video on Twitter, but the video is at the bottom of this article).
It really is an awkward situation if you’re Travis Kelce there. What he should have done (what all celebrities should really do at these tournaments) is go to the bank ahead of time and pull out $1000 in $100 bills. If you hit a fan, you give them $100. The fan is happy, it doesn’t make a dent in your multi-million dollar bank account. Win-win for everyone. And maybe if you hit a fan as hard as he hit that woman you give her a few 100’s.
But if you don’t have that option, then the only thing you can do is offer to take a picture or give an autograph. Which is inherently a very egotistical thing to do. “I’m so sorry a crushed your skull with my golf shot. Let me bless you with an opportunity to stand next to me for a photograph. Or write my very own name on a piece of paper just for you. Bet you think that’s pretty cool, huh?”
Gotta have your head on a swivel at celebrity golf events. Nowhere is safe. No matter where you’re standing on the course, in the blink of an eye you could be face down on the pavement with a ProV1 lodged in your skull. Especially is Travis Kelce is on the hunt.
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