Sources Reveal Details About Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce’s Double-Date With Patrick And Brittany Mahomes: “It was NOT what you all think it was because Taylor is not actually…” See More

The scene of the culinary crime? Meduza Mediterrania, a place so posh that just pronouncing the name correctly gets you three Michelin stars.

These four arrived around 8:30 p.m., probably fashionably late, after attending the US Open earlier in the day.

You know, just casually hanging out where tennis pros sweat while they’re seated with a cool breeze and probably sipping some $40 sparkling water.

Now, let’s talk logistics. Travis and Taylor? They were whisked away to the restaurant’s Private Dining Room (fancy with a capital F).

Not the ground floor where the peasants eat—oh no, these two were escorted up to the second floor, where you have to have at least six platinum albums or a Super Bowl ring to get in.

They strutted past the bar like they were in slow motion, and diners gazed on in a state of awe, trying to capture that elusive blurry pic for their Insta stories, because if it’s not on Instagram, did it even happen?

But wait, there’s more. It wasn’t just the “Fearless” queen, the NFL giant, and the football royalty.

Oh no, they brought along Bon Iver and some other industry pals for this dinner extravaganza. Picture this: an elite squad, the Justice League of entertainment and sports, sitting around for THREE hours.

What were they talking about? Who knows, but I’d like to imagine it was a mix of football strategies, Grammy nominations, and how to dodge the paparazzi with Olympic-level skill.

And speaking of food, let’s just say this dinner wasn’t your average nachos and beer situation. A parade of dishes, yes, an actual parade, floated out of the kitchen like they were auditioning for their own cooking show. Lamb chops, cacio e pepe, and hamachi—because apparently, once you’re an A-lister, regular pasta and fish won’t do. The dishes practically had their own VIP escort up to the second floor.

The night, of course, had to end with some fanfare. As they left, screaming fans and paparazzi outside looked like they were trying to break the world record for most decibels reached by a crowd. Whether they got any decent photos is questionable, but hey, blurry photos of famous people are basically modern art at this point.

An epic double date filled with food, fun, and probably a couple of jokes about how they’re all just regular people… if regular people had gold-plated credit cards and a personal entourage.